(Like "My So-Called Life," starring Claire Danes.)
My existential dilemma has come to an end, or at least has gone on the longest hiatus I've ever been through (at least, like, a week now). I've come to accept the non-transcendent world. Sartre helped me. He says you commit to shaping your essence, which is preceded by existence. (So, you exist before you have an essence, as opposed to the other way around, which is posited by most philosophies and religions Except Buddhism, which says you have no essence at all. There are many articles online comparing Existentialism with Buddhism. They are not very impressive articles.) Well, you don't have to commit; you can also just let it happen, but what you can't do is avoid is it happening. So if you don't commit, then you're stuck alienated from yourself and might end up with a shitty essence.
The downside is that accepting the non-transcendent world has made me start looking at clothing magazines and drifting through stores (clothing and non-clothing) and wanting pretty much fucking everything. I'll have to do better than that. I think ridding myself of wanting to buy everything in sight and not eating dead things anymore will be a start. Maybe just not eating dead things... It's a big task to create an essence. I dig it. I mean, I get that this is not a forehead-slapping idea, but he adds such a lovely philosophical glaze of intellect that I feel much better about it.
You know what I forgot I love? The little dessert cubby in TV Dinners. (I'm sad they're called "frozen meals" and shit like that instead of "TV Dinner" now. Can you think of anything they changed terms on like that? Do you approve of the change?) It's always something-cobbler. Some excuse for fruit drenched in sticky, fruity syrup. YUM. I just had peaches in cherry glue. It was delish.