Waiting

I don't know what's wrong with me....I was writing about the wedding in my journal, and I was getting tired, just thinking about it. It was the same stress that was there, since quitting my job, this feel of expectation, waiting for something, and it was probably there before leaving the job, I know it was, it's always there. There's something that feels like it's just weighing down on my neck, and each night before I go to sleep in those minutes before my eyes finally stop, is the only respite I get, or after I work out, a really hard workout such that my body has no energy to waste on pointless questions with no answers. This feel that I need to do something, only I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS...I'm lost in my own skin. That's from a Dido song lyric, but it sums it up nicely. I'm just pathetic in my very nonexistence. What am I waiting for, what am I needing to do. Why do I listen to these songs which exacerbate the weight that's there.