As you know, Fure-Kitten recently pointed out that I only talk about work in order to amp myself up for something I hate. This was sadly (at least partly) true. My therapist has pointed out before that the reason I'm not well-focused at work may be because my job sucks and not anything mysterious about me. (Can't she allow me some mystery, really?) I'm always thinking, "My job doesn't suck. I suck." But more and more I'm thinking my job sucks. (Don't get me wrong. I still suck on many fronts. My job is apparently just sucking back.)
Whether this is a good or bad turn of events, in my mind, is a matter of how it helps me -- can I slog through better if I admit I'm miserable or better if I pretend I'm not? It seems like the obvious answer is to pretend I'm not, but then I'm left wondering all the time, "Why can't I pull myself away from celebrity gossip and work? What's wrong with me?" With my new-found hate, I'd be like, "Because this job is ass. Now get back to work." Or I'd work the same amount and be extra-miserable. Not sure which.
I will admit misery and see how that goes... will report on improvements or disprovements...
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